Zombie Math Teacher
Cindy was only nine years old when she showed up for her first day of the dreaded Summer School Math Class…
She wasn’t really such a poor math student as she just couldn’t grasp the strange if not bizarre calculations involved with this so called “new math”.
Sigh!
Her teacher on that first day, was Mrs. R.L. Cranston. No one knew what the R.L. stood for but some suspected it was due to her Really Large size!
Right off the bat she started with basic Zombie Math History, tracing back to the very beginning, B.Z., Before Zombies, to the present day, P.A., Post Apocolypse.
Although this could hardly hold the interest of little miss Cindy, she was determined to pay very close attention for she suspected that her very life might somehow be dependent upon P.A. math.
It was at this precise moment of an intricate Zombie Mathism, that Mrs. Cranston asked a most difficult question and Cindy wishing to please, raised her shaking little hand in trembling anticipation of…
What?
She wasn’t sure exactly what was causing this dark and forboding sentiment that now took possession of her mind but a darkness it was none the less.
Little Cindy had the feeling that her academic future was riding on the correct answer to this question as the entirety of her brief, nine-year-old life passed before her eyes.
Mrs. Crandall asked her to go to the chalk board to explain the new Zombie Math to the rest of the class.
Trembling with fright, poor little Cindy now took up her chalk and addressed the class in Zombie Speak:
B. Z.: 1 + 1 = 2
P. A. : 1 + 1 = 3.5
The classroom shook with with a sense of fear and tumult. Teacher Mrs. R. L. Crandall was left absolutely speechless, for once, as the seemingly preposterous answer resonated throughout the room.
Finally, having seen enough of this teachers monstrous exhibition of nothing less than Zombie Terrorism, Ken, the beloved doting sentimental if not totally mental Ken, an enthusiastic supporter of all things Cindy, swooped into the room from his cloak room vigilance.
He grasped young Cindy in his arms and whisked her away to the awaiting school bus in the schoolyard.
They determined to make way for Orlando, Florida and Disney World, where to their combined yet minimal minds, there was yet to reside a single Zombie.
A few married ones perhaps but no singles!
When Synapses Go Bad 