When Synapses Go Bad

Sometimes being a “made man” in La Famiglia – The Mob, has its Pro’s and …

it always, has its Cons, hehe. That’s what’s known as a little levity you know, comic relief. Anyway, sometimes it gets down right embarrassing when the old lady wants me to do something especially when that something is making the bed. I mean, I’m always telling her like, what difference is it going to make made, unmade we are only gonna sleep in it again tonight as we have for the past thirty seven years. Ooh Madonna, she makes me mad, like a freaking lunatic. I said Angelina, sweetheart, what difference is it going to make, we are just going to climb in it again tonight, together, just as  we always have even after we said “I do”, or I did, after that “gavone” father of yours said, “yeah, it’s ok, you two wanted to get married that’s fine, you have my blessing. Better than shacking up like a couple of melanzana, you know, a couple of egg plants, who don’t know right from wrong, left from right and couldn’t even find a bed even if they owned one. So, here I am, a made man, you know that I’m a Made Man right, capice? What’s that you say, this is what’s what with what’s that:  

This is a Made Man !  That’s Jimmy Two Toes Fugosi and he is a Made Man.  

 See, a made man is a wiseguy who has earned the trust and the respect in order to get this honor. In order to be made you must take five vows call the Omerta. If another family or wiseguy ever lays a hand on a made man that other man is dead due to the Omerta. It is an extreme honor to be made in the Mafia. To even rise past the rank of Associate your parents must be Italian and to be made you must be one hundred Italian so they can trace back your roots to the old country being Italy.

Now, to get back to my story if you don’t mind. You don’t mind, do you?                 “no, no, no …”, Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well anyway, my old lady says, “Salvatore, how comma you don’t make the bed”. The old lady is from “the other side” you know, the old country. So I said, Angelina, stop busting my b- chops already, you know how I feel about that. “Sally, Sally, don’t let Papa hear you talk back like that to me, you know he loves you like you were his own son, his own flesh and blood, ( here the old lady is emphasizing blood, as if I don’t get it and I need the extra warning , that her “Papa” is a freaking maniac and is likely to cut off some of my toes,  but Nunzio Pascolini is one man you don’t want to upset )so please, miei cari Sally, go make the Fxxxing bed !

~ by Vinnie on August 31, 2014.

Posted in Attempts At Humor, Comic, Crazy Thoughts, Uncategorized