King Kong’s Catastrophic Calamity
No one told him about the airplanes and he certainly had not read the script…
After all, gorillas couldn’t read right?
Well maybe not but this was no ordinary gorilla.
This, this was the Mighty Kong, King Kong to you thank you very much!
King had been to the “States” once before many years ago when a group of capatalist money hunters had captured him in the jungles of Africa. King hadn’t liked it then and he didn’t think much of his visit now as neither time was what one might consider a pleasure trip nor even a business one for that matter.
No, this was an involuntary journey made by Kong at the demand of his once former owner, front man, capitalist pig captor, Arie’ B. Rehnquist, traveler-hunter extraordinaire.
Mr. Rehnquist, oft times referred to as “The Big Pig”, was in no way shape or form a friend to King Kong. No this flat footed, loose lipped, crooked toothed mongrel of a fortune seeking scoundrel was anything but a friend as his actions could only be interpreted by Kong, and those who knew him and the situation best, would, could and in fact did describe this as a heinous calamity of the greatest order caused by one Arie’ B. (as in Boregarde) Rehnquist. 
This after all was the capture and forced servitude of the Mighty Kong, the all powerful, often times jungle reeking gorilla of the greatest proportions. Why he could, did and once again would climb the tallest buildings with mere fingers and toes, sweep airplanes away with in a singular snort from his nose, then regale his body atop the great Empire State in his most lofty repose.
No ordinary gorilla was he this Mr. Kong, and Jane, you remember Jane, she plain out loved the big gorilla. And many others in the feminine order of reluctant yet heroine-like bold-as-can-be ladies, agreed with Jane’s take on the ape. 
Today we see the dilemma laid out before us for what it truly was, is and forever shall be, in fiction, fact or fantsasy, a case of – ENTRAPMENT!
Yes that’s right, poor King had been spied upon, put upon and preyed upon till he had no “pons” left and was forcibly removed from his noble yet humble jungle environment and violently transgressed upon and transferred to the slick streets of New York City.
Ah, but Kong was not to be out done, oh no, he still had some tricks left up his sleeveless yet very hairy arms. He had been in a similar situation once before if you will recall and he reached into his inner self for the courage and strength that he so desperately needed now.
ARGH ARATAFFAT!
This cry he uttered from the very tip of the top of the Empire State Building. Precariously balancing astride the piercing antennae with his big little toes, King swatted away one plane then two planes, while yet maintaining his grasping grip on Jane; for if he lost hold of her now, why – “shudder” – she would fall to her most certain and absolute death.
As King snarlled and snapped at the attacking aircraft he kept his balance and…
Ladies and Gentlemen – we will have to wait and return next week for the continuation of this series.
Surprised? You shouldn’t be. You have seen the movie, haven’t you?
When Synapses Go Bad 