The Slow Way Home

Doris always moved so slowly, it absolutely drove him crazy. Myron was no speedster himself but this was ridiculous.
 Myron and Doris
 Myron and Doris were coming back from having dropped off their daughter, Harriet, at her new school. She was starting her first semester at “Alvira’s’ Action Swimmers”  –  “Swim For Life” program.  It used to be an arbitrary choice left up to the students and their parents but, ever since Mabaline MuscleMouth was taken by Morie the Moray EEL, lot’s of us have been taking extra precautions now, especially with the tides and currents following along with the hurricane season it’s just plain foolish not to.It was a shame about Mabaline. Everyone liked her alright, even if she did tend to work her old MuscleMouth a bit too much, but surely no one would wish to be ingested like she was,no sir, not even on your worst enemy. That’s why the big push was on for the “Ingestion Prevention” campaign for not only  the kids but the adults too.

So now Myron was trying to hurry  his wife Doris along before the tide started to get too far out leaving them high and dry  just for the pickings of some wile  octopus or  starfish  or something.  Can’t stand those starfish. They just don’t know how to let go!
Doris was just inching along at, of course, a snails pace, the tide was going out and Octavio,the Octogenarian Octopus was slithering about on the bottom of the sea.
Myron was trying to make it across the end of a coral reef when they were held up by a herd of Sea Horse crossing guards and had to wait for an entire school of third grade Sardines to pass.  “What else could possibly happen to hold them up” Myron thought when at that precise second , Octavius did just that-he held them up.  With all six, or was it eight? Anyway, with all of his  slimy, slippery, slinky tentacles  waving about, he  told them  to stop right in their sloshy,slug tracks and to just hold it right there.




Doris was petrified and at first, Myron was a bit worried himself. It was then that he saw Octavius may have had the will to hold them up but, being an Octogenarian Octopus, he was just about pooped out already, had no weapon other than his old, weak tentacles and not much of a beak to speak of.
That was when Myron grabbed Doris and nudged her into  nearby Sharkies Sand Bar, an old friend  back in the day.

 Well, alls well that ends well they say. Octavius never followed Myron and Doris because once they were out of sight he forgot who was looking for. I mean, we are talking about an eighty year old octopus here… c’mon.



Sharkie, remembering Myron and his wife said, “drinks are on the house and this wave is on me”. So they all ordered extra dry martinis and celebrated their good fortune.


~ by Vinnie on August 3, 2009.

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